23rd June 1992 Day 339

The Diary

The day we tried to change money. 

• Indian banks open 10am-2pm
• The daily exchange rate arrives around 12 noon and they won't do an exchange until the rate is in
• When the rate is in, the State Bank won't change AmEx or Citibank TCs
• The Punjab & Sind bank staff are not around
• The Bank of Baroda advise you to go to their main branch
• The main branch of the Bank of Baroda won't take TCs without the receipts (Oz leans over counter "Why are you all so fuckin' hopeless")
• The doorman of the AmEx bank won't let you in
• The commission at ANZ Grindlays is extortionate 

Eventually you crack up at the whole system and decide to take the Grindlays sting as the black market won't take TCs either. Then the Indian bureaucracy comes into its own:

• You fill in several forms
• Wait 1/2 hr while the forms & your passport are passed around 5 desks
• Just as the money is about to reach your sticky fingers, the cashier runs out of staples. 
• Old age comes nearer as you wait for him to order the requisition chit for a new box of staples
• which must be filled in in triplicate 
• and authorised by the manager, senior manager, assistant superintendent senior manager 
• and the lazy git sat by the door holding the 19th Century rifle.  

At least when you die in Grindlays the surroundings are pleasant & clean unlike most Indian banks that are dark & grimy and where they wouldn't be able to get your body out the door anyway because there is only a 6 inch gap in the steel grill that has been padlocked over the door.

 After we'd recovered and Oz had verbally abused several more people including Shansh marnie men & the "you want tourist information about Kashmir, Ladakh" men, we went in search of the Gandhi memorial. But couldn't find it. Then we went in search of Delhi Gate & somebody's pillar. No sign of them. We did (eventually) find Raj Gaht, where Gandhi was cremated.

Back at the Metropolis we chatted to Elizabeth an English girl who was returning home after 21 months travelling and the 3 of us purged our souls of all things India. How is this country one of the worlds major industrial powers? They are all totally inept. A sweeping generalizaton but it can't be far wrong.


2012
A month in India at the hottest time of the year had pushed us over the edge. Oz was demob happy to as he was only a few days away from returning to the peace and quiet of The Cotswolds and Maidenhead - and inept UK banks.

This "bank" day sticks in my mind. Mild mannered Oz turned into a raving, crazed, serial killer of bank staff. Our infinite patience motto had run out. We'd gone to infinity and beyond.


I'm sure today everyone in India just uses ATMs......